100 GB……per month……of data……and the government says “stay home”. That is like looking at the last 2 ounces of wine and being told “no more until next month”. Everyone has their level of crisis.
Thanks to a large nation wide telecommunications company, our little house in the woods is now connected to high speed fiber optic internet with UNLIMITED data! Having come from 100 GB on satellite, I feel like I have found crack and I am completely addicted. Netflix, online news, steaming and more! I have found Nirvana and best of all, I don’t have to declare DATA LOCK DOWN to the family five days into the month. Binging has never felt so good and all calorie free!
And it’s not just internet. We now have TV! So many choices of nonsense and I love it! 90 Day Fiance? Drivel to die for. It just keeps showing over and over and if I need to further escape from the reality of the world, there is three billion episodes of Say Yes To The Dress!
I am in the New World and it’s all a tad foreign. I have never been hip to the trends or cited as fashion forward. When did ripped jeans become a “thing”? I tried it. I looked like I had fallen into a barbed wire fence and the fence won. That’s kind of the technology metaphor that I face. I have TV but what is this thing called PVR? What does it even mean and how does this work? Thank goodness for Google. I can record 90 Day Fiance for the rest of my isolated state and never miss a melodramatic moment!
Perseverance is a great word. I often likened it to personal challenge and doing a proper “plank” but now I find it applies to the world of tech. And while my perfect plank is only a figment of my imagination, I have now finessed the Personal Video Recording, mastered the remote and can now move to mystery world of tech savvy teens. What is this Tik Tok and why does Snapchat make messages disappear? Doesn’t anyone value the paper trail? Oh wait. That’s exactly why things disappear…….
Hulu is not an abbreviated version of an exercise, Spotify is not a laundry cleaner, Instagram is not affiliated with the mail and Visco is not an investment firm. So many terms and means to master. I might do better to go back to trying to perfect the plank! Interviews are now done by more social platforms than what Beyonce has on a stage and I have to shake my head when the feed breaks, the connection is lost and really, the interviewer was just down the street.
However much a mystery, the social estrangement has allowed us to practice for current world conditions and thank goodness we aren’t starting from scratch! I will YouTube and start my tutorials so I can keep up.
This brings me to my current challenge. The art of virtual cocktail parties. My social stance on Apple finds me in a pickle. I was a die hard Blackberry user. I loved Canadian technology, I also loved the keyboard. However, all good things end and my Blackberry had to head to the compost but I can’t do Apple. It’s like world domination where you have to pay to play for innovation which is contrary to Microsoft that embraces “sharing is caring”. My kids think I am nuts. They may be right as now I have been invited to my first virtual party!
All my favourite gal pals are gathering at 4.30pm today to connect, convene and socially sip. Thanks to my stance on fruit, I was gutted to learn that FaceTime is not on my Android menu. I am once again trying to rip my own jeans and have found myself tangled in a fence!
My social resistance could result in virtual social isolation! Damn my stupidity! Now I have to grovel and ask to use my daughter’s Iphone. Humble pie will be filled with my composted blackberry.
The world moves fast and while I feel less than limber in my efforts to keep pace, I will use this time to master the many mediums out there in the world. Who knows, I might even be able to change the format of this blog. There is a link that says “more options”. I haven’t clicked that box yet. It could be scary. Am I the only one that worries that I could be the one that hits a button that deletes the universe? Technically speaking, I have a stutter but with some therapy, I think I can learn this new language. To all those that share my snares with tech, I’ll jump because I never like missing a good time with gal pals, virtual or otherwise.
To all, may you be well, and safe. Let kindness be our friend.
And Then I Jumped...... 