Project Pigs…..Part One

Good news!!! My underwear fits again and I can finally breathe. Bad news…..the neighbors called and complained about the smell of our pigs. I’m not talking the next door neighbor, I am talking the neighbor that lives across the hayfields and then some. I hadn’t factored in the aroma when I started Project Pigs. Let’s be honest, I hadn’t factored anything in because I was completely ignorant about pigs. It just seemed like a good idea.

I blame COVID. I blame COVID for most things but in this case, it’s true. When the world is calling for the sky to fall and you start feeling guilty for buying the toilet paper you actually need, it was a call for rethinking life and food supplies. I should have stopped at “let’s make the garden bigger“. Actually, I should have stopped at that first glass of wine because it was the second glass of wine that caused me to text “YES. I’LL ORDER 4 PIGS“.

“What did I do?” was reserved for my twenties and late night parties not something in my 50’s. I knew nothing about pigs and had just ordered four. My husband was ecstatic; I looked for a therapist because clearly I was NUTS!

My rationale for pigs went something like this…… If the world thinks that we are going to run out of toilet paper, chances are we might run out of options at the grocery store. What happens if the border closes and the food chain is interrupted? We live six hours away from Vancouver and the grocery store gets their deliveries twice a week. What you see on the shelves is what you get. In the winter, if the highway is closed due to weather, the selection is skinny. If the selection is skinny due to snow, I wondered what a world wide pandemic might do?

Food security has always been something I have believed in but as long as I could still buy red peppers whenever I wanted (and toilet paper), I kept food security issues in a file marked “to think about later“. My fall back position was “it’s good to support Farmer’s Markets” which masked my inherent laziness when it came to working a garden. COVID brought chaos and I joined thousands of others in planting the makings for salads and more.

We’ve always had a garden. Sometimes I even watered it and pulled out weeds; mostly I just liked growing tomatoes. Our garden had some flaws namely the soil wasn’t terrific. Pigs were the perfect solution. They are natural rototillers and they leave behind great fertilizer as they “go” and when their work is done, they can rest comfortably in the freezer. This sounded like the perfect plan.

My knowledge of pigs was limited to what I learned from reading Charlotte’s Web. Wilbur was cute and compliant. Nothing like using a non-fictional character as the basis for raising pigs. I am the reason people call the SPCA.

Our pigs arrived big and squealing hard and loud. They also arrived a little sick from the transport truck. “Houston, we have a problem“.

Since I am not a vet or have any experience, this was a good time to learn something about pigs other than what I had read in story that starred a spider that could spell. Our pigs had a really bad barking cough. Dr. Google advised that our pigs likely had arrived with bordetella bronchiseptica. In english, this meant that they had swine flu which was likely brought on by the stress of traveling in the transport truck and without proper treatment, could die. Great. My career as a pig farmer clearly wasn’t going to make it onto my resume.

While I I spent hours looking on how to cure the pigs. Wayne looked for bullets. He’s more practical than I am.

I was determined to figure this out and leaned into the challenge. I also called a farmer friend who came over to administer antibiotics. This sounded simple. Antibiotics are good and they are…..if you can catch the pigs.

Wayne and I had never done pig wrestling as a couple but now we have. It’s not a bonding experience. It involves tons of yelling and shouting. It also meant Wayne had to jump on the pig and I had to jump on Wayne while holding the needle in one hand. It was a miracle I hit the pig with the needle and not Wayne.

Thanks to the antibiotics, three pigs improved but Cauliflower got worse. We named her Cauliflower because one of her ears looked like a cauliflower. Likely, her ear had been trampled in the transport which caused the deformity and the more severe cough. Her cough got so bad that she ended up with a prolapsed rectum. This definitely didn’t happen to Wilbur.

**ALERT**GRAPHIC IMAGE**

We had never wrestled pigs and we had certainly never had to push a rectum back into a pig. A rectum is not something you can just “leave out” and hope it gets better. To make it worse, if we didn’t deal with it, there was a good chance the other pigs would eat it off. This wasn’t Charlotte’s Web, this was Lord of the Flies.

More wrestling ensued and Wayne pushed the prolapse back in and we taped it things together. Fingers crossed.

The next day, Wayne went to work, he also left the bullet out just in case. As if. When I went to check on Cauliflower, the prolapse wasn’t better. It was worse. Time to call the vet. Another round of pig wrestling was launched and because my fingers were smaller, I had to do the first push of the prolapse. Sticking a needle in a pig seemed like a walk in the park compared with sticking my fingers down long dark alleys. The bullet called out to me…..

We persevered and the vet was able to sedate the pig and then massaged all the bits back in place and sewed it up. Now I had to nurse Cauliflower back to health. We separated her from the other pigs. I made her porridge and spoon fed her. I also asked the vet to leave pill form antibiotics as I was done with needles.

After a few days of specialty feeding, it seemed obvious that she was lonely. She needed her friends. The stitches had held and we moved her back with the rest of the crew. Pigs are social creatures and it was quite something to watch how quickly she recovered once she was back with the others. She also realized that the days of room service were over and she had to get to the trough which kept her moving.

Those first two weeks were illuminating. Unlike lettuce that you just plant and water, pigs are complex but despite the challenges, they have been amazing. In those first few weeks, they rototilled the heck out of the land making it possible for us to expand the garden.

We’ve now got space for a green house, peas, carrots, lettuce and yes, I went a big crazy with 72 tomato plants and more but it’s happening. I still hate weeding but thanks to a friend who suggested we place hay over the crops, I might not have to. The hay keeps the weeds down but the plants can thrive. If only I could put hay on all the parts of my life I don’t like to deal with.

I had no idea what we were getting into and yes, we now have to have socialize in the backyard to escape that special pig aroma but we’re learning. Will we do pigs again? I’m not sure. Wayne has all sorts of ideas for the butchering. This makes me nervous. I had visions of a professional butcher and that wasn’t me in an apron with knife but you never know. What I do know is that Wilbur had a long and happy life, we will have bacon and an abundance of ham along with a nice green salad and plenty of squash with a side dish of salsa.

COVID19 has made us all think differently and in many ways, that’s been good for everyone. Who we were before COVID is likely different than who we are now. Thinking about our world and our opportunities has become gratifying in the simplicity. It seems to me that many of us take pleasure in doing things that we used to take for granted. That includes food supplies and our relationships. Both of these have been enriched.

I wasn’t expecting was to find joy in these new beginnings but overcoming the challenge of being more self-sustainable has been rewarding. Life has served so many of us curve balls and we have had to adapt. That’s scary but it shouldn’t stop us from making the leaps into the unknown. Maybe who wer “thought” we were was just foreshadowing to what we can become.

Now…..if only the 40 meat birds that we ordered can behave themselves. But that is another story…..

Here’s to learning new skills and trying new things even if it means wearing rubber gloves and pushing things back together. Life if messy but we can do it. Stay tuned for more adventures.

With love to all and the hopes for a stronger and more sustainable world.

Shelley